I want...

I am going to try a different sort of entry tonight. I envision it will be rather short. A form of free writing I guess…if you can describe the writing style like that. I have a lot of pressure in my mind right now, and beyond the obvious, I don’t understand why. There’s a bottle neck of words between my mind and my hands, and the competing thoughts are at war, each seeking domination and expression. I can’t focus on one or the other, so I’m going to step back and focus on all of them and none of them at the same time.

I want…

…my friends to be happy.

…my friends to know they are loved.

…my family to know that not a day goes by where I don’t think of them.

…my family to know that I talk about them with pride.

…my sister to know that she is and has always been my best friend.

…my sister to know that I am proud of her.

…my husband to know that he has inspired me to be a better person.

…my husband home to sit with me while I write this.

…a hug.

…to cry.

…to laugh.

…to be in Winnipeg at the Toad in the Hole with my theatre friends again.

…to have the discipline to write a novel, and have it published.

…to publish anything.

…to own a piano and play again.

…to learn another musical instrument because it’s there.

…to not feel so damn alone all the time right now.

…to sing.

…another tattoo.

…to get my ears pierced again.

…to square away my debt.

…to go back to school.

…to be an uncle

…to be a father.

…to expand my library.

…to learn how to paint.

…to develop an art skill beyond writing and music.

…to stop crying.

…to explain to people, well, how important they are to me.

…to be strong more often than not.

…to understand “why?”

…to build a DVD shelf for my GLBT movies.

…to finish my collection of said movies. (14 and counting.)

I don’t really know what else to add, believe it or not. Sometimes I guess there is truth to the saying, “less is more.” Writer’s block is a bitch, and tonight it seems to reign supreme.

Tomorrow’s another day.